Ok I admit it I can’t deal with Yom Kippur. I’m sorry for my sins and all but fasting is pretty much my worst nightmare. If the old man synagogue breath isn’t bad enough, I’ve actually never made it through the whole day fasting. I lie every year and tell my grandma that I “fasted well”.
You may remember my old post here about ‘fat moments‘, or moments where I’ve acted, quite shamefully, like a complete fatty. Today is the Yom Kippur edition.
Here are my Yom Kippur fattest moments:
Yom Kippur Fat moment 1
One time I made it to 3pm without eating. Whilst my mum was tutoring maths to my cousins I decided to bake cupcakes for the evening. I proceeded to make the batter… a little taste here, a little taste there… before I know it there was hardly any batter left. I threw the rest away and my mum never knew I even started making cupcakes. My rationale is that God turns a blind eye to uncooked foods…. he would do the same in my position.
Yom Kippur Fat Moment 2:
The following year I made it successfully till about 4pm. I was starving but felt skinny. I went upstairs to have a nap and my dad had left an M&S Halloween ‘chocolate bucket’ (the best type of bucket) on my bed. I ate one, then two, then the whole thing (about 4,000 calories). I fell asleep in the midst of the glimmering foil. It was the best sleep ever.
Yom Kippur Fat Moment 3:
One time I was chewing gum in front of the Rabbi and he told he that I had technically broken the fast. So I went home and binged. May as well throw the baby out with the bath water and all.
Do you have any Yom Kippur fat moments?
As my grandma would say… Fast Well!!
Hey guys – new video! It’s been a while.
If you guys have any real weight loss tips, feel free to share 🙂
Croutons are the silver lining in any salad or soup. For years I was convinced that they were baked… when I found out they were fried I cried longer than I did when I found out Spice Girls broke up.
Yes croutons are full of calories but the geniuses in the BJOD R&D division (me and my boyfriend) set on an incredible adventure to find something which adds the same comparable crunch, texture and flavour as croutons. We found kale chips to be an amazing addition to any soup or salad. They add a bit of variation in liquid soup and are relatively low in calories. They are so simple to make as well.
Ingreds – Kale, olive oil, salt, pepper, soup
Method to the madness:
1. Cut the kale into bit-size pieces. Get rid of those nasty stems – they’re as bitter as my parents divorce. Lol.
2. Heat the oven to 160 degrees C
3. Throw them in an oven dish, toss with a tiny bit of olive oil, salt, pepper and any other seasoning you want
4. Cook for about 20 mins till crispy but not burnt. Burn kale tastes horrific.
5. Put on top of soup. Btw the soup in the picture is 6 carrots, 3 parsnips, 1 onion, 1 clove of garlic. Sweat the onion and garlic in a pan for 5 mins then throw in the veg and boiling water, cook for 20 mins, blitz in blender and you’re done.
In this weeks vlog I teach y’all how to shop healthy BJOD style. I give out fresh diet tips (i.e. have a haircut to make it look like you’ve lost weight) and Charlie makes a guest appearance at the end.
Ugh you guys keep me young.
In this weeks video blog I teach you how to make an aubergine into a dessert. Stand by bitches!
Ok guys my diet is back on track… it’s been a long old push since my holiday. Anyways… if you want one piece of advice from someone who is battling their way through a hellish diet… DON’T ask someone if they’re still on their diet!
The flow diagram below explains what will happen:
Here’s how I usually react:
April fools! This was like 6 years ago… I’m still a fat shit.
Sucks for me
Unhealthy assassins: n. Unhealthy foods which pretend to be healthy – the sneaky snacks!
It’s a tough world out there for food obsessed fatties. 90% of my day involves me avoiding stuffing my face with oily, sweet, buttery, salty food… and that’s a good day! One negative comment at work and hello binge binge city bitch.
I usually successfully avoid eating the unhealthy originals… chocolate, sweets, cream, crisps… I know better not to gorge on them. However, just to make things more difficult for fatties like me, there are HUNDREDS of foods which are JUST AS BAD for us, but dress themselves up as healthy. The sneaky moms.
What’s a girl to do? I’m not going to spend the rest of my days eating celery and salsa… that’s no life to live.
Here are a few unhealthy assassins:
Frozen Yoghurt or Froyo
Froyo…. I mean… it has the word yogurt in the title! The calories in an average froyo is literally the same as having a Ben and Jerrys scoop of ice-cream. What’s worse is that the cooking process of popular frozen yogurts kills all the goodness out of it. To be honest, I’ll still fool myself and eat it. No one judges me when I get a froyo (at least I don’t think they do?!)
Granola is a big gra-No-la. It sounds really healthy… and it looks really healthy. But when you put it in your mouth that taste of butter and sugar reminds me that it’s not actually healthy 😦
I cried when I found this one out. I wouldn’t GO NEAR a bowl of pasta. However, after looking into the facts about the sneaky cous cous, it’s basically the same as pasta. Both cous cous and pasta are made from the same durum wheat flour, just pasta is made into bigger pieces. There are very slight differences in nutritional value – cous cous 20 less calories per cup, but also 1 less gram of protein. Take a look here for more info
Popcorn tastes so light that it’s difficult to believe it contains any calories. Unfortunately most popcorn is covered in oil with sugar/salt. The other problem with popcorn is that because it’s so light we tend to eat more. A large cinema box of popcorn is 1,800 calories! You may as well eat a whole vat of
Are there any other unhealthy assassins that you know of? Please save BJOD from a heart attack and share your knowledge below 🙂