Walmart made an oopsie today – they labelled their plus size halloween section as “Fat Girl Costumes.” I’m not sure whether it was a prank going wrong, an excitable intern on glue or a genuine label for their new subsection, but Walmart took the page down immediately after someone Tweeted about it. I for one am quite glad about the section – I have a halloween party coming up on Friday and being a fat chambermaid is only like my dream come true.
This reminds me of the time when Target labelled their plus-size grey dress as “Manatee Grey” instead of “Dark Heather Grey” for the normal size. People these days…
In case you don’t know her yet, Meghan Trainor is popping up all over the shop with her new song ‘All About That Bass’. See the song here. The song is all about being comfortable with your size, telling us to not follow the photoshopping crowd. Now ordinarily I’d be all over a song like this, but I actually found myself eating more this weekend due to it’s messaging. Yes, that’s right, the song made me binge.
A few of my favourite lyrics from the song are:
“Yeah, my mama she told me don’t worry about your size. She says, “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.”
Yeah, that’s what my mama said and I ended up being 22 stone I was 17. Lol JK she had to padlock the food cupboard (true story).
The second lyric that made me eat were:
“But I’m here to tell ya every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top”
I was literally singing with with a buttercream enriched piece of cake in my mouth.
What’s my point here? Well, I don’t know if it’s due to my lack of willpower, but when I hear a song like this it makes me content with my size and therefore makes me eat. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is the fact that I didn’t lose any pounds this week can be blamed on Meghan Trainor. Cheers, ya bitch.
Anyone else think this, or am I on glue? I give the song 7 star of Davids.
Hey guys – new video! It’s been a while.
If you guys have any real weight loss tips, feel free to share 🙂
Last Friday I went to register with a new doctor. Simple enough I thought. Until I saw this health-computer-booth thingy which took my measurements. I had to weigh myself as part of the new application. Shit. I’ve been avoiding scales for weeks now. Anyway, I stood on them and was greeted with this:
Even a machine judges me! This was a huge wake up call to sort it out and get back on track. For all my lovely readers, I apologise for letting you down by not writing (or dieting) for the past month. I admit it I fell off the fat bandwagon. Buttercream got the best of me. I’ve managed to lose 6 pounds in 5 months. If I carry on at this rate it will take me 3 years to get to my goal weight. That doesn’t take into account all of the buttercream events such as Christmas, Birthdays, Best friends birthdays, bad days at work, good days at work, boring days at work, busy days at work. Basically I’m fucked all year round because buttercream is good for all events (even shivas). I just need to bring back that motivation. I’ve been slightly embarrassed to write for a while due to my lack of results, but this blog is built on honesty. Therefore I can honestly tell you that actually I’ve only lost 5 pounds. Soz. However I’m pleased to tell you that I’ve been back on it for 3 days now… I even had minestrone soup for lunch. So old school.
Anyway, if anyone is still out there, thanks for sticking with 🙂
Hey guys apologies but I’ve been busy like a mofo. Anywho, here at BJOD, we’ve decided to go behind the scenes at some of London’s most extreme diet clinics. The doc is a work in progress but here is a trailer to give you guys a taster… if you’ll pardon the pun.
So I’ve been ill this week with a nasty ear infection… I won’t go into the details but the clue is in the title of this blog post – big goo on a diet. I’m one of those people who could convince themselves they were dying even with just a common cold. It got me thinking, here are Big Jew’s pros and cons of being ill whilst on a diet (p.s. if this post doesn’t make any sense it’s because i’m horribly unbalanced and running a slight fever):
– Pro – My antibiotics say I’m not allowed to eat 2 hours before or 2 hours after taking them and I need to take them 4 times a day. This already limits my snacking hours to specific points in the day. No more sneaky mini cupcakes whilst at the desk. I know what you’re thinking ladies – it’s called Flucloxacillin – go crazy.
– Con – This promotes binging at my designated hours in the day. God help anyone standing in the way of the cholla when my 2 hour period has come (cholla is the ultimate ill food obv
– Pro – Fevers take your hunger away – starve a fever, feed a cold. Personally I’ve never noticed this one… fever or no fever I’m a ravenous beast.
– Con – When fever subsides you think you’re ‘owed’ 1000 extra calories. There’s something about being hotter… you almost think you’re burning more calories. It’s like exercise.
– Pro – You don’t go out to fancy restaurants and have big dinners when you’re ill.
– Con – You are more likely to boredom eat whilst snacking at home and no one can see what you’re doing because they’re all at work. Everyone know that secret calories don’t count.
– Pro – You can watch as much TV as you like
– Con – Only cooking shows like Barefoot Contessa is on… “how bad can that be?”
– Pro – You have an excuse not to feel guilty about not exercising
Apologies for the lack of posts recently, I’ve been horrifically busy at work. I know being busy at work is no excuse for not being good on a diet… but it kinda is bitches. Anywho, I hate to be all Jamie’s 15 minute meals, but I actually want to share with you my Moroccan chicken recipe that is both healthy yet delicious and easy to cook.
Yield: 4 hungry Jews
Ingreds – it may sound like a lot but don’t be freaked out
8 chicken thighs – skin on, bone in – sounds hot right
3 cloves garlic – everyone at work will love you the next day
1 small stem of ginger
1 tbsp. honey
1 tbsp. cinnamon
1 tbsp. cumin
Shit loads of chopped coriander – I know sick people out there are corianderphobes… I feel bad for you
2 cans chick peas
3 sweet potatoes or 1 butternut chopped up
Apricots, prunes or raisons or all of it
3 cans of chopped tomatoes
Method to the madness:
1. Make the rockin’ paste – blitz together onion, garlic, ginger. Brown off with oil, honey, cinnamon, cumin
2. Throw some chicken into the mix. Brown it off. If you don’t brown the chicken your dish will taste of pishy water.
3. Once everything has been browned throw in the chopped tomatoes, chick peas, dried fruit, sweet potato or butternut
4. Right now the mixture will be a mix watery mess. Cover and put in the oven on 180 Degrees C for 30 mins.
5. After 30 mins everything will be cooked but you’ll want to reduce the water content a little bit to enhance/concentrate all those delicious flavour flaves.
6. Serve with cous cous, chopped almonds & fresh coriander
I’m not exactly proud of my fatter years, but sometimes I look back and laugh about how much of a fat-man-mentality I had (… or have). I stumbled across this hilarious forum the other day – “What’s the fattest thing you’ve ever done?”. I truly admire the honesty, whilst feel slightly disgusted at some of the confessions. In the spirit of the post I thought I’d share with you some of my fattest things I’ve ever done….
The Cookie-Dough Strainer
1. When I was 16-ish (during my fattest period) I used to skip sports afternoon on Wednesdays, go home for lunch and order the “Pizza Hut gut buster”. I used to get a stuffed crust pepperoni pizza (my mum is going to KILL me for admitting that) and cheesy nachos. I used to eat the whole thing, but that’s not even the worse part… it would come with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough but I’d be so full I’d melt it in the microwave and sieve out the ice-cream, leaving just the cookie dough chunks.
Getting stuck in the pool
2. When I was 17 I was playing waterpolo in the school pool and I got my fat arm stuck in the side of the pool. Everyone had to get out of the pool and they called in engineers to get my arm out. Lucky enough I managed to pull it out before it got too embarrassing.
Yom Kippur Cupcake massacre
3. Good Jews have to fast for 25 hours once a year for Yom Kippur. I’ve never quite made it through the whole day. One year I decided to bake a whole batch of cupcakes for the evening post-fast family feast. However I found myself eating half the batch and got so embarrassed that ate the rest and never told my mum that I even baked them in the first place.
I want to know your fattest moments – if you want to remain anonymous email them to me – firstname.lastname@example.org. Be honest! We’ve all been there hunny
I wrote a jokey article a couple of weeks ago about the perils of fat people when it comes to summer… not only do we have to battle with our boobs in the heat, but we also have to sit alongside beautiful people with bodies to die for – read it here.
Yes, the post was jokey but the response from my readers made me feel unexpectedly proud and I wanted to write another blog post based on it. The vast majority of responses were from people telling me their experiences of body-shame on the beach and how they’ve learned to cope with the feeling of guilt about being fat in a judgemental society.
This leads me to my first question – are you guilty about being fat? Do you feel guilty whenever you go to pick up a piece of cake? I know for sure that I do. I have two types of guilt – guilt for my own health and guilt from other peoples judgement. Guilt for my own health is usually (and annoyingly) pretty late to the party. Grabbing another piece of cake is a balance between willpower and short-term blissful happiness of feeling creamy sugary buttercream go into your mouth (mmmm buttercream), but guilt usually makes a late appearance. Late, but long-lasting unfortunately.
It’s the guilt from other peoples judgement which is the interesting one. I think, for me anyway, the main evidence of this is whether or not I secret eat. Guilt from other people wouldn’t exist if the other people weren’t there. If I got locked in a supermarket by myself overnight salad would not even enter my mind. However, it’s the looks from my friends/family whenever I go to eat a piece of cake which makes me feel incredibly guilty. It almost sometimes makes me feel that it’s not even worth it. However, where this becomes dangerous as it’s more often than not that I’ll find myself sticking my fingers into a jar of peanut butter when I get home.
Second question – does the guilt help you? I’m undecided on this one. Guilt has evolved because it helped us in the past. The more guilty you felt for doing something wrong (and potentially harmful – i.e. eating a piece of cake), the less you did it and the more you survived. Makes perfect sense. However, we’re not living in a simple world any more with a couple of animals to kill for meat and a bush to grab berries from. We live in a complex society of thousands of yummy restaurants on our doorstep and a happy-to-judge society. Guilt, for me, can be a positive and a negative. The positive is that I know in myself that if i truly didn’t give a shit I would eat like there’s no tomorrow. The element of guilt, whilst sucky, actually keeps me from becoming super obese. However, the negative end of the spectrum makes me feel sad, and we all know what being sad does to my eating habits… Cream, cream city bitch.
I think feeling guilty is fine balance. You need a little bit there to keep you on track from not getting too fat, but you don’t want too much to feel constantly bad about yourself.
What do you think readers? I’d love to hear from you all 🙂
Croutons are the silver lining in any salad or soup. For years I was convinced that they were baked… when I found out they were fried I cried longer than I did when I found out Spice Girls broke up.
Yes croutons are full of calories but the geniuses in the BJOD R&D division (me and my boyfriend) set on an incredible adventure to find something which adds the same comparable crunch, texture and flavour as croutons. We found kale chips to be an amazing addition to any soup or salad. They add a bit of variation in liquid soup and are relatively low in calories. They are so simple to make as well.
Ingreds – Kale, olive oil, salt, pepper, soup
Method to the madness:
1. Cut the kale into bit-size pieces. Get rid of those nasty stems – they’re as bitter as my parents divorce. Lol.
2. Heat the oven to 160 degrees C
3. Throw them in an oven dish, toss with a tiny bit of olive oil, salt, pepper and any other seasoning you want
4. Cook for about 20 mins till crispy but not burnt. Burn kale tastes horrific.
5. Put on top of soup. Btw the soup in the picture is 6 carrots, 3 parsnips, 1 onion, 1 clove of garlic. Sweat the onion and garlic in a pan for 5 mins then throw in the veg and boiling water, cook for 20 mins, blitz in blender and you’re done.